Wikipedia defines infidelity as “a violation of the mutually agreed upon rules or boundaries of an intimate relationship, which constitutes a significant breach of faith or a betrayal of core shared values with which the integrity of the relationship is defined.”

Those mutually agreed upon rules are called vows, or commitment.  We stand before God and profess to love, honor and obey each other until death us do part, and the meaning of those words fall on deaf ears.   Infidelity is wrong no matter if you are married or cohabitating.  Once you enter into a relationship, you should be committed to making sure that you keep the romance alive and to keep the communication lines open.  We tend to shut down and hide our feelings from those that we profess to love.  Commitment is not something that we take seriously anymore, if we were committed to a relationship; we would not be looking at someone else but trying to maintain what we have with our partner.  Is it too much to expect exclusivity of one another?  We live in a world where most people are free to do as they please and this freedom is leading the majority of the world on a moral decline. 

Research on sexual infidelity has focused on three domains—the personal values of the individual, the opportunities for extramarital sex, and the couple’s relationship.  Permissive sexual values are associated with extramarital sex.  Among Americans who believe extramarital relations are “not at all wrong,” 76% report having had extramarital sex compared to only 10% of those who think extramarital sex is “always wrong” (Smith, 1994).  Extramarital permissiveness is linked to liberal political and religious ideologies (Smith, 1994). 

Opportunities, namely potential partners and circumstances assuring secrecy, facilitate extramarital sex.  Some Americans admit they would have extramarital sex if their mate would not find out (Greeley, 1991).  Couples who lead separate lives for example, have more opportunities and are more likely to have secondary sex partners (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983).  Dissatisfaction with the martial relationship itself is associated with extramarital sex (Brown, 1991; Vaughn, 1986).

An investigation into extramarital affairs was conducted by an acclaimed journalist to discover how different cultures deal with adultery.  The concept and consequences of infidelity are far less rigid outside the United States.  Americans are the least adept at having affairs, have the most trouble enjoying them, and in the end, suffering the most as a result of them.  Russian husbands and wives do not believe that beach-resort flings violate their marital vows.  Japanese businessmen, armed with the aphorism “If you pay, it’s not cheating,” flock to sex clubs where extramarital services are offered freely.  South Africans created separate categories for men who cheat, and men who only cheat while drunk.  In America, however, there is never a free pass when it comes to infidelity.  According to our national moral compass, cheating is abominable no matter what the circumstances.   (Druckerman, 2007).

It is never okay to cheat regardless of the situation and why the relationship is not working.  A relationship should be built on trust, and in that trust we should be able to talk to our mate and freely tell them what the issue is no matter what.  Our morals and values that we were taught as children should still be present within us.  We should never cheat on our mates just because others are doing it and that it is now acceptable by most today. 

Work Cited

Druckerman, P. (2007). Lust in translation: The rules of infidelity from Tokyo to Tennessee. New York: Penquin Press.

Treas, J., & Giesen, D. (2000, February). Sexual Infidelity among Married and Cohabiting Americans. Journal of Marriage and Family , 48-60.  Retrieved January 19, 2011, from http://www.jstor.org: http://www.jstor.org../stable/1566686